Where I'm Going

Being single used to slightly annoy me. I wondered what was wrong with me as another year would go by and more and more people starting to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. I was always ok with being single but, yes, I was a hormonal teenager that wouldn't have minded some young love. Since I have lived this way for my whole life I have known nothing different. You'd think now that I'm in college I would explode and shake my fist at the world saying "why me? I am 18 years of age and not once! Curses!"

Well this is not the case. The case is that I think being single right now is amazing, and that I think I could live like this for quite a while yet. The plans for my future don't revolve around anything boy related. Money is something else that I find myself not caring about.

All I'm doing right now is studying hard. I'm trying to not think about the immediate as much. I think there's a lot for me down the road. There's so much motivation I didn't know that I had driving me to succeed.

I know that there's nothing wrong with me--yes, I have never had a boyfriend in my life, my lips have never been kissed, and I've never really felt "hot". However, I just don't care. I realize that I don't even feel ready for it now.

...I also realize that my standards for men are probably not that realistic. Oh well.

This is how I see it:

I'm past the point of thinking the best in men--by experience I know that it's incredibly hard to get them to like you if you don't put some sort of effort into a sex appeal. I don't want any guy crimpin' my style. I like to wear what I like to wear--I'm not super girly. I like to wear dresses, and stuff, but I like to style my outfits in a way that's me. I wear whatever I want and get inspired by certain fashions, none of which are really sexy. When I want to wear something awesome, I want to feel awesome and cool and confident, not like an object to be gazed upon.

It just kills me when I meet guys and they seem legit, but then all they seem interested in is the girl with the cleavage bearing shirt with NO PERSONALITY. Yeah, they're guys. They're wired like that. But there have to be guys out there that are looking for something a little deeper.