I get really weird during summer because I have all of this free time to be productive but then I always feel bad if I'm doing something because I feel like I should be doing something else but there's nothing to do and I get all up in my head and have minor freakouts all the time and I can't relax and enjoy anything that I'm doing.
I am trying to change that. Every time I feel a freakout coming on I tell myself that there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing at that moment! It's great and I should enjoy it. I'm watching Oklahoma on VHS right now as I type this. I've also been on tumblr for a long time. It's ok!!! It's ok. I should enjoy my screen watching double tasking.
When I feel bad about doing something then it just makes me feel like a lump and it makes me feel awful and dead. And then that leads to just zoning out and not even enjoying what I'm doing anymore at all but feeling like I can't ever be happy and I'm just stuck.
Well no thank YOU. Not today. I don't understand why I get like this and it will STOP.
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