I kind of wish I was twelve. It was such a great age in my life. I was home schooled then, and I lived my life thrift store shopping and rearranging my room. I also was obsessed with writing stories. After reading a Harry Potter book or some other young fiction fantasy novel, I would curl up somewhere comfy and just write down millions of ideas. I actually completed 4 short novels. I still have them, those beautiful things. They were pretty decent to, I mean, 20ish pages of size 12 times new roman???I really want to be able to capture the essence of that time in my life. I seriously freakin' loved my life then. I slept in everyday and usually got all of my schoolwork done at the beginning of the week to spend the rest at the library or in my room or outside. Why can't my life just be beautiful like that again? *sigh*
I was so creative back then. I played paper dolls basically every day. I still remember how much I loved those things. I would listen to my little kid radio or pop in a Jump 5 CD while basking in the lovely moments of making up a new playmobil setting, organizing my drawrers and closets, (for the second time that day) or taking my polly pockets outside into the wilderness. Disney animated movies were my life. I was obsessed with baking cookies and became quite the master at it.
But now all of my priceless thrift store clothes are gone because they don't fit me anymore or I lost them and I painted my room purple because I thought I would like it better. I still am finding moments to be creative. I try to find good clothes but there never seems to be time or motivation anymore. Whenever I try to write a story it sucks. I haven't read a good book on my own in forever. I miss the homeschool building and the homeschool marching band and dance. I miss garage sales runs at 6 in the morning with my mom and eating apples in the back of Frannie's minivan while listening to Adventures in Odyssey. I miss making movies with the videocamera and living at Karis' house. I miss Arthur and Ramona and Harry Potter. I miss loving it all so much.
*sigh*
3 comments:
i wasn't home schooled but i miss having time to do what i really love also. i feel like with high school we find ourselves... but we definitely lose ourselves too. it's tough.
and thus you just posted my life.
seriously. let's go back to be pre-teens again. I want to be 9. you can be 12. we'll be friends. we can watch Arthur at 4:30 before dance class and read Harry Potter until we have all 7 books memorized. then we'll writes sequels and act them out until the second coming.
I'll go fix my time-turner.
i think once we caught on to the illusion of perfection, things broke down. but that's just a theory.
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