Done and Gone

It still hasn't registered in my brain that we're done. Last night sped by and I wish that it didn't. Maybe it was because I'd been playing that night in my head so many times. But I didn't soak up any of the moments really. I couldn't even smile when we were presenting the flowers to people. I kind of felt like a zombie. And during "fix you" I cried. But it wasn't the kind of crying I thought it would be. It never settled that we were done. It did a little bit during "in my heart" and it actually made me scared a little for some reason. But at the party I couldn't muster up a certain emotion. I cried because everyone else was crying and because I couldn't cry the way I wanted to.

When the seniors were all huddled up together I just rested my head on someone. I didn't even know who it was. I just let myself go limp and tried to savor the moment. When it was all done I cried because it was gone and I couldn't have it longer. I wanted everyone to stay and sway in a circle for just a couple more minutes.

It's not done, it's gone.