last night was weird. one moment i was sitting on the floor of my room thinking as i always do. the next i was heavy crying. it all really hit me. i looked at my room in a different way. i'd be leaving it. i just got really freaked out and started crying. i don't really want to be an adult. i thought back on high school. so many things i'd wish that i'd done. high school has really not been any of what i though it would be. i've sat through it. great things have happened but not enough. and i'm beginning to realize more of who i am and i'm not sure what i think about it. i'm stuck in this horrible transition spot right now. i don't like getting older. my 14th birthday i was sad because i thought 14 was so old. i dont feel mature. i dont want big responsibilities and i'm not sure that i want to be treated like an adult either. i just want to watch some disney movies and not have boobs and thighs and frolic around in overall shorts and jelly shoes and be the crazy imaginative girl i was.

this is probably one of my worst periods ever. i dont ever remember being this moody and crushed.