Aftermath

My dad losing his job and the aftermath of that has not been very good on my family. We have not been the same since he lost his job. Things have gotten a lot harder. So much of the effects of him losing his job were subtle, and it's like all of the bad things that have been happening seem to just be bad things, but they're all kind of related to his job. He feels like a failure if he cannot do his job, and had been getting really depressed because he has not been able to do his job well. When he had his old job we were really happy. I didn't have to worry about a lot, and our family was really encouraging, nice, and secure. There really was nothing to worry about. It's amazing how much safety and security was taken away and how less happy my dad was. I can't even really remember it. But now that I think about it, ever since he lost his job it has been a lot harder to be happy, to be motivated to do things, to want to do things. Things seem to sort of lose their purpose when all of that happens. Things make sense now. I think I sort of gave up after he lost his job, and all of the crap happened that happened at that time. When my brother went into a depression too. For a different reason, but that was all going on at the same time. Everything that was promised, everything that was so good in life, just wasn't there anymore. Things couldn't be as happy and carefree anymore. That was around the time that I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. So no wonder I felt so dead and confused and screwed over-that stuff didn't even really matter at that time. And nobody had time to think about that or do anything about that or dream up about it. Or plan or wonder or hope. I was mentally disengaged. Things did not seem to have as much purpose or joy as they did before. I started to give up on people too. Now it makes sense why it's so hard to give a
in life.