Out of the Box

Expecting for a certain kind of life ruins things when we actually have them. Dream up of all the things hoped for. Expect, and keep expecting. Be content with what you have, keep reaching for your goals and dreams and live in the happy and wonderful place of life, but don't let your ideas or expectations be tainted with other people's ideas or expectations, or the world's expectations. Expect for the things you long for and dream. Keep those things alive and in your life. Disregard all of the rest. Take them into account, but do not let them overtake you. They do not know what is best for you. Only your dreams and ambitions do. Dreams are achieved when we are living them, not when we have reached a critical acclaim or won or accomplished something in the "world's eyes." What does that even mean.

Expect nothing less. Achieve nothing more. Dreams and ambitions are what's worth fighting for. They can easily be disfigured or sloshed about, but as long as you keep living and dreaming these things, good things will come about. Keep dreams alive, keep them flowing. Don't ever let the world tell you what you want. Keep on growing.

Expecting more from something, and seeing something as not worth as much because the rest of the world doesn't see it that way is a way of ruining dreams and ambitions. Don't expect as much. Really expect. But for the gold and explosions in your mind, not the world's golden trophy. Keep dreaming. Keep doing. Keep creating. Keep growing, expanding, reaching, stretching. Living, believing, thriving. Don't let other people's ideas of you make you feel like you have to fit into it to please them or prove a point to them or something. Get out of people's boxes. Get out of your own boxes you put onto yourself because of how you think other people want you to be or perceive you. Grow out of the boxes and keep growing and stepping out of them. The boxes are meant to confine you. The world hates boxes, and yet thrives and survives and rotates with them in places. It is time to get out of the boxes.

Aftermath

My dad losing his job and the aftermath of that has not been very good on my family. We have not been the same since he lost his job. Things have gotten a lot harder. So much of the effects of him losing his job were subtle, and it's like all of the bad things that have been happening seem to just be bad things, but they're all kind of related to his job. He feels like a failure if he cannot do his job, and had been getting really depressed because he has not been able to do his job well. When he had his old job we were really happy. I didn't have to worry about a lot, and our family was really encouraging, nice, and secure. There really was nothing to worry about. It's amazing how much safety and security was taken away and how less happy my dad was. I can't even really remember it. But now that I think about it, ever since he lost his job it has been a lot harder to be happy, to be motivated to do things, to want to do things. Things seem to sort of lose their purpose when all of that happens. Things make sense now. I think I sort of gave up after he lost his job, and all of the crap happened that happened at that time. When my brother went into a depression too. For a different reason, but that was all going on at the same time. Everything that was promised, everything that was so good in life, just wasn't there anymore. Things couldn't be as happy and carefree anymore. That was around the time that I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. So no wonder I felt so dead and confused and screwed over-that stuff didn't even really matter at that time. And nobody had time to think about that or do anything about that or dream up about it. Or plan or wonder or hope. I was mentally disengaged. Things did not seem to have as much purpose or joy as they did before. I started to give up on people too. Now it makes sense why it's so hard to give a
in life.

A Guide to Disney Channel Original Movies

1. The love relationships must be the quality of that of a 21 year old.

2. They must be blind to obvious ideas that would save the situation for the sake of the insane plot.

3. Characters must do the almost-kiss.

4. Age don't matter!
Jeanette and Charlie of the movie Minute Men are in love. But in real life, the actor's ages are radically different. No matter!

Regardless, I love Disney Channel Original Movies. They have their own art an swag that none can match. These ones have been highly fun to see in my opinion--

• Geek Charming
• 16 Wishes
• Minutemen
• Jump In!
• The Cheetah Girls 2
• The Cheetah Girls
• High School Musical
• Alley Cats Strike

Body Rock

This dance. Is my jam. For life.

1970s Disneyland

I have recently been inspired by 1070s Disneyland. While watching videos about Disneyland on Netflix I was exposed to images and video footage of what Disneyland looked like in the 70s. They mentioned that there was a cultural shift during the 70s, and that the theme park owners were trying to keep up to date with what people wanted out of theme parks. Having recently gone to Disneyland, I really appreciate it for what it is now, preserving a lot of the old rides but also making room for new things and playing to everybody's interests, so there are special places for everybody that goes there. But this whole 1970s idea of Disneyland really got me, how they made this new hotel that had the Amtrak going through it, how things were getting really hip, and how looking back on that now, it does look really hip! (This hotel happened at DisneyWorld, but it still ties into the theme). But there's something really nostalgic about looking at it now, having grown up being exposed to my dad's culture of growing up, him talking about 70s things and his childhood, going to disneyland, looking at the furniture in his childhood house and seeing all of the cool 70s stuff, I really feel like my heart is in the 70s right now, and seeing how the 70s effected places like Disneyland really interests me. I like to imagine my dad as a kid with his family going to Disneyland and riding on rides like this. I know Disneyland must have been such a different place back then, and I love the way it is now, but I really like to think about what it must have been like.

(These are some of the movies I can see inspiring Disney rides at the time.) 

It's a Small World ride has recently added some Disney characters to it, but learning in the movie about how the ride was originally mad really got to me and made me want to see the ride in its original glory all the more. The song that was originally composed for the ride was a slower ballad, the song was slower so it made you think more about the lyrics and had a different effect on your heart. And seeing that made me realize why the ride is so popular--the message that that ride has has the most powerful message of any of the rides, bring the world together and having world peace! No wonder that ride is so popular. And it really makes Disneyland all the more of a wonderful place. I think the It's a Small World Ride is definitely the heart of Disneyland and the most important ride, the best ride, and the reason Disneyland has been so set apart and such a special place. Without that ride, the disney magic would be there but with it there, Disneyland all of a sudden becomes a lot more important.

(That kind of went on a tangent about how much I love the It's a Small World Ride but now I get back to the point that the It's a Small World ride is an integral part to the 1970s Disneyland experience. The ride in it's original form, not a blatant inspiration from a Disney movie, but a ride with a lot of heart and magic that goes along with Disney and makes the Disneyland experience so much more of a place and a continuation of Disney, not something that has to exactly match the movies but go along with Disney and who he was, his vision, and what he accomplished. It's very inspiring that he would make rides like that that were an essence or part of Disney but not the whole movie package necessarily.)

[That was also a tangent, but it brings me back to the point of why It's a Small World is so important to the experience that I'm talking about.]

DisneyWorld back then also had treehouse lodging, which they took down, (and it makes me think, whyy?? And because I'm thinking why?? it makes that time seem all the more curious and interesting because they took it down. I like the idea of certain safety precautions or things not being taken into consideration back then and DisneyWorld being more of a natural place than artificial and rules not really applying because it's the 70s [although Disney has always been artificial]. I like thinking about the atmospheric change that was taking place at that time. And the transition from the 70s disneyworld and land to the current ones.

On that note of the change between the 1970s Disneyland to the more current one, I'd like to take a look at a very inspiring change that took place to me, and that is the transition from the medieval town to the Fantasy Faire town, which is now currently alive in Disneyland, and is more welcoming of movies like Beauty and the Beast, Tangled, and Snow White. This old medieval town that used to have its place reminds me of movies like The Sword in the Stone, The Black Cauldron, and Sleeping Beauty, whose atmospheres may have related to a 1970s audience better than the modern audience today. But that town very much appeals to me, liking those movies and that sort of town and feel that they were set in. I would have liked to go to Disneyland back then and see that.

Somebody on YouTube made this ride up, but I think it would go very well into the place that I'm talking about. Just the right sort of mood and idea of the whole medieval castle Disney era.

So in short--I love 1970s Disneyland and I really like the way that Disneyland is now but it's really fun to think about how it was back then and I like to fantasize about it and what it was like to be in the 1970s back then and that whole visual experience of it really makes me happy.

I think in current Disneyland, the area to get the most of this kind of feel, and the area I love going to because it gives me a real life taste of it, is Sleeping Beauty's tower, which is even cooler because it's so remote and hidden and not everyone knows about it because the entrance to it is this tiny little door in the corner, there's no big signs or anything!

This is the Documentary/Info Video I watched that provided me with most of this inspiration/information.
http://movies.netflix.com/WiPlayer?movieid=70135918&trkid=2450709

Good Day

These three things have made today very enjoyable, emotionally, aesthetically, dispositionally.

1. Thirteen by: Big Star

2. Biscoff Spread

3. Liam Payne

4. I'd like to do an honorary fourth to Lake Michigan, even though I was not there today, but it's on my mind. 

K-Pop Questionnaire

100 KPOP QUESTION

1. Favorite group? Miss A

2. Current Favorite guy group & bias? Super Junior

3. Current Favorite girl group & bias? Miss A

4. All-time bias? ---

5. Favorite maknae? ----

6. Favorite leader? Leetuk

7. Favorite song? It's You by: Super Junior

8. Favorite Japanese version of a song? Genie by: SNSD

9. Favorite English version of a song? Two Different Tears by: Wonder Girls

10. Best actor in Kpop? Bi Rain

11. Best group on variety shows? ----

12. Best-looking? Shim Changmin, Kim KiBum, Onew

13. Cutest couple? G-Dragon and Dara

14. Who would you date? Shim Changimin

15. Who would you date if you were the opposite gender? ---

16. Who would you want as an older brother?---

17. Who would you want as an older sister? Miss A

18. Who would make a good husband/wife? ----

19. Favorite album? SHINee's Lucifer

20. Favorite solo artist? G-Dragon

21. Favorite underappreciated group? Crayon Pop

22. Favorite music video? Sorry Sorry by: Super Junior

23. Favorite dance? Sorry Sorry by: Super Junior

24. Favorite costumes/outfits? Anything f(x) wears and Lollipop pt. 2 by: Big Bang

 25. Favorite remix? DJ Masa 2008 K-pop mix

***SECTION 2: VERSUS ROUND!***

26. 2NE1 or KARA? 2NE1

27. SNSD or After School? SNSD

28. f(x) or T-ara? f(x)

29. Big Bang or 2AM? BigBang

30. Dalmatian or TRAX? ----

31. SHINee or 2PM? SHINee

32. CN Blue or SM The Ballad? CN Blue

33. Super Junior or B2ST? Super Junior

34. Yuri or Yoona (SNSD)? Yuri

35. Jonghyun or Key (SHINee)? Key

36. Minho or Taemin (SHINee)? Minho

37. Yoseob or Dongwoon (B2ST)? ----

38. TOP or G-Dragon (BigBang)? TOP

39. Kikwang or Hyunseung (B2ST)? ------

40. CL or Minzy (2NE1)? CL

41. Dara or Bom (2NE1)? Dara

42. Luna or KrystaL (f(x)? Luna

43. Victoria or Sulli (f(x)? Sulli

44. Amber or Amber (f(x)? Amber

45. Jessica or Tiffany (SNSD)? Tiffany

46. Sooyoung or Sunny (SNSD)? Sunny~

47. Yonghwa or Jonghyun (CN Blue)? ----

48. Siwon or Heechul (Super Junior)? Siwon

49. Yesung or Donghae (Super Junior)? Yesung

50. Leeteuk or Kyuhyun (Super Junior) ? Kyuhyun 

***SECTION 3: FUNNY STUFF***

51. Funniest girl group & funniest girl in the group?---

52. Funniest guy group & funniest guy in the group?---

53. Funniest group of all? DBSK

54. Funniest person of all?---

55. Funniest dance? Gangnam Style

56. Funniest song? Balloons by: DBSK

57. Funniest costumes? Balloons by: DBSK

58. Funniest music video? Balloons by: DBSK

59. Funniest couple?---

60. Funniest parody? Gee by: Super Junior

61. Funniest buffalaxed version?---

62. Funniest variety show episode with a Kpop artist?---

63. Funniest impersonation? Minho of Changmin's scream

64. Funniest face?---

65. Funniest mistake onstage? Changmin sounds like a ghost

***SECTION 4: HOW DEVOTED ARE YOU?***

66. Do you have any Kpop posters? Yes

67. Do you have any of the actual CDs? No

68. If you’ve bought any Kpop songs on iTunes, how many have you bought? A few.

69. Have you ever covered a Kpop song or dance? covered the dance to f(x)'s NuABO

70. Have you ever participated in a Kpop flash mob? No.

71. Have you ever been to a live concert? No.

72. Have you ever talked to a Kpop artist in person? No.

73. Do you have anything signed by a Kpop artist? No. 

74. Do you check allkpop or another Kpop news website daily or on a regular basis? No. 

75. Do you have a Kpop tumblr? No. 

***SECTION 5: THE BEGINNINGS***

76. How did you get into Kpop? Found Super Junior on YouTube in 2006

77. What was the first song you ever heard? Happiness by: Super Junior

78. First group you knew about? Super Junior

79. First group you really got into? K-population

80. How long ago did you discover Kpop? 2006

81. Did you like it or dislike it when you first discovered it? Loved it. 

82. Is your current favorite group the first one you discovered? No but its in my top 5

83. If not, how long did it take you to discover your favorite group? Not until 2010 with MissA

84. First variety/reality show you watched that had a Kpop artist in it? The show where Super Junior heard Charice Pempengco sing

85. First song/MV/pic/whatever that made you fangirl scream? Super Junior's Sorry Sorry

***SECTION 6: LEAST FAVORITES***

86. Least favorite group & least favorite member? ----

87. Least favorite guy group & least favorite member? ----

88. Least favorite girl group & least favorite member? ----

89. Least favorite member of your favorite group? -----

90. Least favorite song? Boyfriend by: Boyfriend

91. Worst-looking? -----

92. Who would you never want as an older brother? Everyone in DBSK (except Changmin) and Super Junior 

93. Who would you never want as an older sister? ----

94. Least favorite solo artist? -----

95. Least favorite music video? Boyfriend by: Boyfriend

96. Least favorite dance? Boyfriend by: Boyfriend

97. Least favorite costumes/outfits? ----

***SECTION 7: BIAS <3 p="">

98. If you were only able to say five words max to your bias, what would you say? Keep up the great work!

99. If your bias kissed you, how would you react?---

100. If your bias asked you to marry him/her, how would you react?---

My Favorite Film Couples

Some films capture relationships so amazing and I think these ones are so beautiful.

1. Garden State--Andrew and Sam

This is probably my favorite relationship on film to date. Andrew is deserving of a girl like Sam and Sam of him. They just hug they love each other so much. The love they have is so deep that they need to hug each other. It is the most beautiful hug. 

2. Skins Series 3--Rich and Grace

They are a very unlikely couple but get to understand and love each other through Grace being a ballerina and Rich into Screamo music. They are able to connect the two and love their art and how it works and then they love each other. 

3. Safety Not Guaranteed--Darius and Kenneth

They play pretend together. Enough said. But not really. Go watch the movie. 

HI GUYS!

Hi there. Welcome to my site. I hope you like it. If you don't like it, I'm gonna kick ya but not hard enough for you to really hurt and then I'm gonna take a permanent marker and sign my name on your butt so you'll always remember me.

We're All Going to Die

It's hard to not act on your feelings and just stand there and not do anything and be trapped in yourself and then you REALLY. Understand the fact that you're going to die someday and this is it. You're not going to get another chance at any of this. What really matters? And how can you get those feelings of not doing or saying anything to stop mattering so much? We're all going to die. Why do the things that matter matter? It's so absurd. We like to forget that we're going to die and pretend time isn't eventually going to catch us. Why aren't old people more mean?

need i list the reasons for my love for this

Sleep Yoga

I was having a horrible time trying to sleep because my breathing was really bad and i was trying to regulate the breathing, of course, spending too much energy thinking about the breathing only to make the breathing more forced. So I got off the bed and thought I would try some yoga to help me relax. I have lifted both legs and butt into the air, the room is dark and I have an eye cover awkwardly on my head and the door opens to reveal my roommate and time just dies. My reflexes kick in and I sit up and just say "sorry." What else can you say in that moment. There are absolutely no words. My roommate sank the the ground coping with the shock and laughed. Another girl was there too and laughter ensued for a good 10 minutes. It was a deep deep weird experience.

hp

Harry Potter is literally all that makes sense sometimes.

You're Killin Me

Large crowds of people doing social norm things makes me feel dead inside. There is nothing behind anything anybody's doing. It's eerie. The screams just stay in my stomach. But I'd like them to die so I play "Bad Reputation" on my ipod while walking through all of the people and begin to embrace my inner villain. The desert has been long.

Ta Da

Thought of the day: I am a privileged white middle class American and I want to punch so many people that are more privileged than me and more spoiled and don't understand how good they have it but I'm the same as them and a lot of people have the right to hate me. Injustice. AHG

Hold On

Wilson Phillips ya know if you look past all of the cheesiness of your song and especially the way you presented it in your music video, your song is the truth. And I think it's extra brilliant that the truth was presented in a 90s cheesy way. You do have to hold on for one more day. And when the good things come you tend to forget about how awful you were when you were in the anxiety state before. But life tends to repeat itself.

I hate forgetting things!!!!! My mind has so much in it but every time I learn some good advice or wisdom or thing that I really want to hold on to, I try to say it in my brain so much it becomes a part of me, but then I never know if I hold onto those things because how can I know if I forget something??? I can't!!!!

But ya got to live out the yin yang of life.

And you have to hold onto those moments when you're going through a tunnel and hanging out with awesome people and looking at a person you love and loves you back and WHY CAN'T MY LIFE BE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER

I want to dig a hole and throw everybody in it and stand at the top and look at them and eat spicy hot cheeto fries and laugh

I hold on to who I am. I'm awkward and I'm weird and I don't feel like I am but then I talk to people and I'm so aware of how not connected I am. I ate spicy hot cheeto fries and I am in my pajamas and I feel like a bum and I feel awful but I don't want to get ready for the day. For just one day. Let me eat my spicy hot cheeto fries and have bad breath. But then my roommate walks in with her friend and they have makeup and fake nails and trendy purses and talk the cali slang and i'm sitting on the chair with my laptop and cheeto breath and i am completely helpless. I am aware of the tension in the room, i'm not going to deny it and be stupid. Sometimes I deny tension, but then I just bury myself deeper away form the world. And we talk but I'm just relaxed and not trying to be someone I'm not and I can tell they're looking at me like, why is she so awful. And it sucks. I want to like people so bad. And I just really….can't. I'm trying hard.

Also. why do people laugh at me. maybe if i was a jerk people would have more earthly respect for me. Too bad I don't want to be an a hole. 

hahahahahaha laugh laugh laugh laugh 

Philosophy on Life

Excellent Movie

This movie brings out the middle school girl in me in such a good way.

Pride and Pride

Don't get me wrong, I think boys are awesome. From life experiences I have met a lot of good ones and a few that I have liked. But I'm finally noticing what my problem is and why I have never had a boyfriend and why the cycle continues.

It's really sad that boys have such fragile egos because of what they think they need to be/prove. I think this is so dumb so I don't even want to go there. I don't want to build them up and encourage them about their "masculine ways" to make them feel better. I don't intentionally want to tear them down either! I just don't even think about these things! And building the ego is key to spitting game, as I have read in many a 17 magazine and the likes. Make them chase you! Flirt! Leaving him wanting moooore! You totes rock gurl. Get ur dream man and his nice abs! jsdofjapaweioidjfopafjoiwejfoiaew

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NONO NONONONONONONO SHUT UP YOU STUPID LADY WRITERS I HATE YOU AND YOUR KIND. 

But…how sad is it that those 17 magazine articles and the likes scarily have a lot of truth to them? 

I don't want to feed an ego that stands for stuff that I think is ridiculous. I like guys that I like because I think they're awesome. And that's that. But no matter how great the guy is, I always find a way to really really hurt them by joking and thinking they can handle it. And I never mean to bring down their ego. I only intentionally find ridiculous pleasure in bringing down an ego belonging to a guy like this

This fictional character gives me hope. 

OR 

life observation option # 2: I'm just really bad with boys.